7/5/07 Why Today's Kids Feel So Entitled

Orig Posted: Thursday, July 5, 2007

A few moments ago, my husband forwarded me Jeff Zazlow's "Moving On" column in today's Wall Street Journal online. In it, Zazlow argues that young people today are self-centered due to being told how special they were, just for being themselves. The main culprit, he agues, is the late Fred Rogers. Rogers was the star of the long-running "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" television show. It still airs and if you are curious, you can catch it on PBS, weekdays at 11:00 a.m.

I personally found Mr. Rogers to be a supreme nerd and couldn't stand the show. But, I do catch it on occasion, as my toddler seems to enjoy it. Mr. Rogers constantly tells his band of puppet misfits that they are special, no matter what anyone else tries to say.

It's a nice idea and was intended to make kids feel special, despite any disabilities or differences. But, as people often say, the road to Hades was paved with good intentions. So it almost is in this case.

Zazlow quotes a college professor who says that his students expect him to give them an 'A' just because they feel they worked hard. I understand that, but the professor could have brought this all upon himself. My husband earned an undergraduate and Masters degree in electrical engineering from a local public university. There, he told me, professors often graded "on the curve". (I received my B. A. from a private, women's college where getting graded on the curve was something none my fellow students would ever even think about. If the professor gave us a bad test, we all suffered together.)

When my son is old enough to play organized sports, we won’t allow him to play on a team where everyone gets a trophy. He doesn't need a wall full of parent-funded awards just because he was on a team.

I was an accomplished athlete and earned numerous varsity letters. I only won two trophies as I was good at many things but a master at none. I worked so hard to win that I still treasure those two trophies over twenty-five years later.

My husband excelled at math, and chess, among other things. I excelled in the liberal arts and sports. He earned trophies commenting his achievements in the mathematics and his skill at chess. I've never played a game of chess in my life, but I don't deserve acknowledgement if I do try. I know my limitations, and my husband knows his.

Who knows how our son will excel, but he will certainly not expect to be given any of life's victories. Kids should be taught to work hard to earn victories, trophies, grades, and ultimately, jobs. Nothing is handed to us in the adult world and he doesn't need to be told how great he is at something, if he isn't.